The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences. This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers. When a popular show like Indian Matchmaking neglects this alarming fact of the Indian American experience, it quietly normalizes caste for a global audience.
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The show has received much criticism for glorifying arranged marriages — a tradition that feeds off regressive stereotypes about genders, caste and class. While the challenges of single-hood resonated with a lot of privileged, mostly savarna Indian women and some men, it was pointed out that the labelling and sorting process of humans involved in the show glorifies deeply regressive traditions Indian women have fought hard against, and some are still unable to stand up to.
Several Dalit writers and activists pointed out that the outrage over Indian Matchmaking from dominant caste circles revealed a deep lack of selfwareness as their own social interactions were also deeply rooted in caste, which relentlessly otherises oppressed castes. At the centre of the show, are regular people struggling to finding a partner they really wanted to be with on a long term basis. HuffPost India reached out over email to Vyasar Mamta Ganesan, a year-old high school college counsellor at Austin, Texas to understand how the process panned out for them and also how the people on the show responded to the allegations of stereotyping and regressiveness.
Since then, it has set up more than specialised sites, reflecting the segmented nature of India’s wedding market. “Ninety-five per cent of.
The show follows the journey of a Mumbai-based matchmaker who arranges marriage alliances between wealthy families in India and the US. What is disconcerting is not simply the easy acceptance of social conservatism by the young and elderly, not the least by Indian diaspora in the United States. What stands out for Indians is the importance of marital status. Arranged marriages, the norm in India, are tightly bound within the caste of the bride and groom. In crude forms like matrimonial websites, caste preferences are the main criteria, followed by physical appearance and salary potential.
In covert forms, even individuals who choose their own partners, tend to self-censor their options within their own community and class. The focus on similar social background or family compatibility points in the direction of caste that governs our decisions — who we socialise with, who we hire, where we live, and who we marry. The notion of arranged marriage has long been considered intrinsic to Indian culture.
Matrimonial websites that are widely employed to find husbands and wives, both for Indians in India and the Indian diaspora, are tailor-made for specific communities, caste and sub-caste categories like Tamil Matrimony, Iyer Matrimony and so on. There are exclusive portals for wealthy patrons like Elite Matrimony.
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Updated : 29 days ago. If you scoff at the very thought of arranged marriage and what all it entails, and consider it to be the most regressive concept on the earth; read no further. Moreover, you will be able to relate to this bunch of young men and women on the lookout for life partners.
Indian matrimonial websites, as a new and popular medium for seeking marriage partners, have millions of users and have become increasingly important in.
What influences our youth to set aside their enterprising, free-wheeling spirit to follow the well-trodden path of arranged marriages? Part of the answer lies in the deep socialisation process, which is woven into the fabric of the close-knit extended Indian family, and its rootedness in the larger network of society. The young too seem to believe in the cultural definition of marriage as a family affair, rather than an individual undertaking.
Harmony and shared values arising from common backgrounds are seen as more important than individual attraction. The common grounds provided by an arranged match — familiar customs, foods, relatives, incomes, etc — also helps in negotiating the dark thicket of matchmaking. The upside is also that this aids the adjustment process with the new partner and family, a stand-in for what is seen as the variable element of love.
When it comes to daughters, the disciplining fetters become even tighter, since a tarnished reputation would scupper her chances in the marriage market. With whom? But in India it continues well into adulthood. It translates into interference in career decisions, choice of friends, dietary preferences, etc. Despite this over-involvement, the so-called transgressions like drinking, smoking and premarital sex must be surgically hidden from their view.
Her task was to go onto the stage and introduce herself to around 70 eligible bachelors and their parents. At midday girls would wait for prospects to swing by, again with parents on either side. If the two sides hit it off, they would exchange copies of their horoscopes. Nearly 50 men lined up to meet Ashwini that day, speed-dating style.
Marriage is an institution every Indian believes in and it has indeed become a part of our culture. Though love marriages exist in our country, the Indian families still prefer arranged marriages as they believe that marriage is a holy institution which connects not just two souls, but two families also, together. Hence the role of trustworthy mediators in the matrimony is very important.
New generation depends on internet for everything; therefore there are many matrimonial websites available too, through which thousands of people get married daily and thereafter lead a happy life. These sites have a huge database which suits your preference and helps you choose your life partner. Regardless of language, community, religion or caste, these sites have suitable matches for everyone.
Matrimonial sites are easily accessible and once registered, your job of finding your right partner is made easy. The site is a combination of culture and technology. There are umpteen facilities that make the partner selection easier.
The Trouble with Indian Matrimony: Matchmaker, Make me a Match!
By Gardiner Harris. NEW DELHI — For thousands of years, fathers in India have arranged the marriages of their children, and Garima Pant — like an estimated 95 percent of her millennial peers — was intent on following this most Indian of traditions. Her father found a well-educated man in her caste from a marriage website that features profiles of potential mates and presented his choice to her.
On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the.
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Matchmaking in Middle Class India
On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage. The format of the show is simple. Hopeful brides- and grooms-to-be meet with Taparia — often with their overbearing parents in tow — for an initial consultation.
indian marriage,marriage india,indian matchmaking sites RK Garg (seated) and his son Shree Garg, who run Guptaji Marriage Bureau.(Sanchit.
Few people in the Capital can talk about matchmaking as insightfully as Poonam Sachdev. Their catchphrase Rishte Hi Rishte: Ek Baar Mil Toh Lein matches and more matches, meet us at least once used to be scrawled along railway tracks across north India in the s. Sachdev, 53, who has been in the business of matchmaking for 30 years, says Covid has made her job more complicated than ever before.
Suddenly, a lot of people seem to believe in a simple marriage. Her sentiments are shared by many other well-known matchmakers in Delhi, who before the pandemic had an estimated 3, matrimonial bureaus. While a large number of them have had to permanently shut shop in the past three months, as business has nosedived like never before, those that have survived say finding a perfect match has never been so tough. I worked over the phones and have already helped a couple of such as families to find the perfect match without obligations as to how and where the wedding should take place.
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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy.
So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge. As an independent, working woman of today, why did I choose to do this? Not because of a lack of faith in the ability to fall in love organically but an inkling that perhaps sometimes love is not just enough.
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The notion of teaching them to adjust is at the crux of her process, as she works with entire families to find the right partner for their would-be brides and grooms. In some ways, the show is a modern take on arranged marriage, with contemporary dating horrors like ghosting and lacking the skills for a meet-up at an ax-throwing bar. But issues of casteism, colorism and sexism, which have long accompanied the practice of arranged marriage in India and the diaspora, arise throughout, giving viewers insight into more problematic aspects of Indian culture.
As an Indian-American girl growing up in Upstate New York, one part of my culture that was especially easy to brag about was weddings. They were joyful and colorful, and they looked more like a party than a stodgy ceremony. While living under the same roof in quarantine, my mom and I have had a lot of time to watch buzzy Netflix shows together. But I was hesitant to invite her to watch Indian Matchmaking with me, knowing her marriage to my dad was arranged. Did she like the process?
She shared with me some details of how her skin tone affected her life when she was growing up. She was often told not to play outside as a kid, that the sun would make her skin darker and no one would want to marry her. I was saddened to hear this, but it finally made sense to me why Indian relatives and friends had made comments with similar implications to me. Since its release in mid-July, the show has done more than inspire interpersonal conversations like these.